Tuesday 31 March 2009
Monday 30 March 2009
Too much time to think
Aged 6 I screamed the house down because i had no idea what a leak was but there was one coming from my bedroom ceiling.
It took me about 11 years to realise L.A and Los Angeles are the same place.
When i was 12 my weekends were spent with Haza, doing things we shouldn't and going places we shouldn't thinking our parents had no idea. Of course they did.
At about 13 i ate too many sweets from Antibo's and started halllucinating from too much sugar.
At 14 me and my friend Jess were still putting on plays for our parents, and all of them seemed to feature the same song from Moulin Rouge.
My knowledge on relationships comes from 3 boys from when i was 11 to the present. I talk of each one as tragically as the next.
Until the age of 16 and a half i expected to have been on broadway, be living in New York, married to a handsome, guitar playing, londoner, with two children by the time i was 25.
And then i don't know what happened.
But it's becoming more and more apparant that reality has never been my strong point, in fact naivety seems to be more my 'thing'.
Everything seems a lot scarier without my Mum checking up on me, and decisions being my own. Consequences of mistakes are mine to deal with, and I envy the days when my main worry was remembering my books for school.
I'm not an idiot, i'm pretty sure everyone remembers a time when things were easier, and in 5 years or so i'd look back on this and think how good i had it. But right now i'm just really scared and very aware of how uncertain i am about my next move.
It took me about 11 years to realise L.A and Los Angeles are the same place.
When i was 12 my weekends were spent with Haza, doing things we shouldn't and going places we shouldn't thinking our parents had no idea. Of course they did.
At about 13 i ate too many sweets from Antibo's and started halllucinating from too much sugar.
At 14 me and my friend Jess were still putting on plays for our parents, and all of them seemed to feature the same song from Moulin Rouge.
My knowledge on relationships comes from 3 boys from when i was 11 to the present. I talk of each one as tragically as the next.
Until the age of 16 and a half i expected to have been on broadway, be living in New York, married to a handsome, guitar playing, londoner, with two children by the time i was 25.
And then i don't know what happened.
But it's becoming more and more apparant that reality has never been my strong point, in fact naivety seems to be more my 'thing'.
Everything seems a lot scarier without my Mum checking up on me, and decisions being my own. Consequences of mistakes are mine to deal with, and I envy the days when my main worry was remembering my books for school.
I'm not an idiot, i'm pretty sure everyone remembers a time when things were easier, and in 5 years or so i'd look back on this and think how good i had it. But right now i'm just really scared and very aware of how uncertain i am about my next move.
Home Alone
Jamie and I decided to kickstart the week and a half without my mother by watching a stupid amount of films, drinking a stupid amount of beer and eating all the food in my house. What with me being poor and everything, even I am a little concerned about how i plan on surviving the nexxt week.Note to anyone coming over this week:
If you've got no food or money you aint comin' in.
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